I don't know where should I begin to write about this one. there are so many words forced of my head, pushing me to write them all, so I can have a sweet thing to be reminded someday.
It's still telling about him, someone I love I guess. We were together no longer, we decided to stop something that people called "sweet relationship" for a couple teen like us. A relationship where I can say I am his, and he is mine, we're together and nothing could seperate us. But somehow I realized we were wrong. There would be so many things that coould seperate us, except I and him were a couple of husband and wife. Then we agreed to cut this "sweet relationship" and promised we'll be together in a lasting relationship someday.
We were not a couple anymore, didn't mean we stopped communicating each other. We still keep contact, we're still hanging out together, we're still asking about every single day we had, and sometimes we are still flirting each other to have fun. But yes, I'll be honest, after we were broken up, a big romance came to say hi to us. I realized how do I love him, how he meant a lot for me. But I kept on my decision, I wouldn't be his girlfriend again, but I wish I would be his wife.
A couple days ago, I had a missunderstand with him. A little thing, beared a big problem. Then he went to other city to meet his dad, and the problem kept going during the days he went. Until today, he came back to this city, asked me to pick him up. I was not really interesting to meet him again, the problem still shaded behind, anger still with me. But I was wrong. He missed me so much, I knew he did, because I did too. He appeared in front of me, and all the anger dissapeared.
I leaded him to his house and stayed for some minutes to have an open fasting. A little conversation about some days that we didn't spend together, colored by laugh and smile. I aimed to go home, then he asked a question. A question that made me shocked, surprised, happy, and I can't stop thingking about it 'till right now! It's resounding in my head, makes me keep thingking about it :
"How if we become united soon? Are you ready?"
"What?"
"When will you want to be mine?"
"What the hell was your father talking to you?"
"He said nothing. He read the book I read, and I think I need do it soon. When will you be ready?"
"Come home, and talk to my mom."
"Okay, I'm gonna come there this holiday and ask her."
"You're kidding me!"
He smiled, maybe it was only a joke, but it flew me high somehow! Now I can't sleep to think about it.
Darling, as you know I really wanted say yes! Your question this evening didn't need a word to answer, both of us had known what will I say. But, don't you feel it was a little too rush? What will we face after I say yes is a big deal. It's not only a fake relation between a woman and a man that can be stopped if we want. It isn't a game that we can stop playing if we're bored. It will be a part for the rest of our life. I wanted you to be the first, and the last.
Think 'bout it more times, darling. Think 'bout it slowly, clearly, seriuosly. Keep asking to God what time will be the best for us. God will answer, God will show to you. He will guide you, deliver you into me on the right time. You always have a part in all my pray. I also keep asking to God when will the best time for us to be united in a pure relation. Try to be more patient, darling. Keep thingking and praying, assured your self that you have been ready, then come to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here to say say yes when you ask me to be yours on the time God has set.
love you so much.
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